Friday, May 14, 2004

the meaning of life

One of the most enriching lives is one spent by a person trying constantly to create and evolve his/her God.

That can be restated another way too: To me, the only concieveable purpose of life is an endless effort to cast a meaning on it.

Wednesday, May 12, 2004

My father has no daughters. Only three sons. A house with no girls and three boys is usually like a barrak. Little, very little emotion. And if there is any smal sentiment, of course, it is towards mom.
I, being the eldest son, never learned to emotionally communicate with baba.
I never did and I still don't know how.
Not that I don't want to. I am 31, and I undestand a father may look at his childrens as the fruit of his life. I undesrtand, even if he cannot say it, that he needs me to communicate with him.
I saw it, the night that I got married - almost a year ago. I saw his face. He looked totally different. Happy in a totally new way.
I left shortly after mariage. Maryam who had established a very nice relationship with her in laws also left shortly afterwards to join me. Baba likes Maryam very much. Everytime I call to talk to them I read it in his voice how desperate he is to talk to his daughter in law. But we are away. And we will be for a long time. The political problems between the US and Iran does not allow us to visit home easily. or for them to visit us. My last year trip to Iran was a big risk of not being able to get back and thus losing the chance of finishing school. Baba is approaching 70. I need to be with him for a while. To let him enjoy the fruits of his life. We need to be together with our parents before ... Damn it is too hard to write. Makes me feel empty. I am going to post this without proof reading.
I tried to meet one of my deamons.

Monday, May 10, 2004

There are men too gentle to live among wolves

There are men too gentle to live among wolves
Thanks to my new friend Naser G. for introducing me to James Kavanaugh and this beautiful piece of poetry.

There are men too gentle to live among wolves
Who prey upon them with IBM eyes
And sell their hearts and guts for martinis at noon.
There are men too gentle for a savage world
Who dream instead of snow and children and Halloween
And wonder if the leaves will change their color soon.

There are men too gentle to live among wolves
Who anoint them for burial with greedy claws
And murder them for a merchant's profit and gain.
There are men too gentle for a corporate world
Who dream instead of candied apples and ferris wheels
And pause to hear the distant whistle of a train.

There are men too gentle to live among wolves
Who devour them with eager appetite and search
For other men to prey upon and suck their childhood dry.
There are men too gentle for an accountant's world
Who dream instead of Easter eggs and fragrant grass
And search for beauty in the mystery of the sky.

There are men too gentle to live among wolves
Who toss them like a lost and wounded dove.
Such gentle men are lonely in a merchant's world,
Unless they have a gentle one to love.

Thursday, May 06, 2004

It sounds so natural to me that a prowar blogger like Jef Jarvis is almost entirely silent about the Iraqi torture scandal. I wonder what does people like him say in private about those photos. Probabely: 'Damn the SOB photographer. '

If there is anybody who thinks photography is not really what I am made for please let me know right here in the comment section. I won't be offended.

Wednesday, May 05, 2004

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