Wednesday, May 12, 2004

My father has no daughters. Only three sons. A house with no girls and three boys is usually like a barrak. Little, very little emotion. And if there is any smal sentiment, of course, it is towards mom.
I, being the eldest son, never learned to emotionally communicate with baba.
I never did and I still don't know how.
Not that I don't want to. I am 31, and I undestand a father may look at his childrens as the fruit of his life. I undesrtand, even if he cannot say it, that he needs me to communicate with him.
I saw it, the night that I got married - almost a year ago. I saw his face. He looked totally different. Happy in a totally new way.
I left shortly after mariage. Maryam who had established a very nice relationship with her in laws also left shortly afterwards to join me. Baba likes Maryam very much. Everytime I call to talk to them I read it in his voice how desperate he is to talk to his daughter in law. But we are away. And we will be for a long time. The political problems between the US and Iran does not allow us to visit home easily. or for them to visit us. My last year trip to Iran was a big risk of not being able to get back and thus losing the chance of finishing school. Baba is approaching 70. I need to be with him for a while. To let him enjoy the fruits of his life. We need to be together with our parents before ... Damn it is too hard to write. Makes me feel empty. I am going to post this without proof reading.
I tried to meet one of my deamons.

  © Blogger template 'SimpleBlue' by 2008

Back to TOP